ONE SIDED LOVE (My Relationship, My Story)

One-sided love is not love. It’s torture.

It’s waiting for something that might never happen. It’s looking at someone who doesn’t see you. It’s thinking about someone day and night while you probably never cross their mind. It’s looking at your phone hoping they’d text you or call you as they call someone else. It’s reaching out to them with so much fervor as they respond with indifference.

One-sided love is not love. It’s a battlefield.

You’re battling your emotions. You’re battling your feelings. You’re battling reality. You’re battling everything people are telling you and believing your fantasies. You’re battling your own intuition. Your gut. Your logic. Your heart. It’s a battle you can’t win. A war you can’t stop. It’s losing over and over again. It’s surrendering to something that will eventually destroy you.

One-sided love is not love. It’s heartbreak.

It’s one person giving and the other one is taking. It’s one person loving and the other is not even moved. It’s one person always hoping for something more while the other is avoiding the subject altogether. It’s one person willing to do anything to make it work and the other is not even thinking about it. It’s one person always crying and the other one is always laughing.

One-sided love is not love. It’s self-destruction.

It’s questioning your self-worth every night. It’s constantly wondering why you’re not enough, why you never get picked, why you’re never the chosen one. It’s amplifying every minor flaw. It’s looking at yourself and not liking anything about you. It’s lying in bed overthinking everything you’ve said and done because it must have been something you said, it must have been you. It’s feeling like you’ll never be loved because no one was able to love you back. No one you wanted truly wanted you.

One-sided love is not love. It’s a crush. It’s infatuation. It’s obsession.

It’s liking the idea of someone. But real love is never one-sided. Real love is reciprocated. Real love is patient. Real love is understanding. Real love is two people embarking on a wonderful journey together with all its ups and downs. It’s two people willingly choosing each other. It’s two people trying to accept each other and love the worst parts of one another. It’s two people promising to be there for each other in sickness and in health.

It’s loyalty. It’s reassurance. It’s commitment. It’s intimacy. It’s depth. It’s strength. It’s a reason to live longer. It’s a reason to have faith in life. Real love heals. One-sided love breaks. Real love is the only love you need to look for. One-sided love is anything but love. It’s a poetic term for heartbreak. A poetic term for suffering. 

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Love seems to be the cause of all the happiness and pain in the world. If your love is reciprocated, you will be the happiest person on earth. But if your love is one-sided, that is, if it is not returned to you in equal measure, then it can be a source of great sorrow.

But what really is love? Is true love only the one that is reciprocated? On the contrary, love is a one-way street. Love is what you give, and not what you receive. Love is undemanding, it never asks for anything in return. Though, deep down in our hearts, each one of us knows this, it doesn’t lessen the amount of grief that unrequited love causes.

It takes real strength to accept that our love is not cherished and not even given a second thought. But, what is it then that makes people fall in love so recklessly? Love isn’t a choice. There is good in everyone. And when the good far outweighs the bad in a person in our opinion, we start falling in love. We respect, like and even blindly trust that person. This is what makes the pain of rejection even more difficult to endure. We consider that person as too good to be able to hurt us, and when they do, we are left heartbroken.

One-sided love is like falling in love with the moon. You can only wistfully stare at it, knowing fully that it can never be yours. This feeling may depress you for a while, but people usually get over it.

On the other hand, a one-sided relationship is potentially dangerous. Usually the partner who does not love wishes to gain some kind of advantage from this relationship. He/she will exploit the other in some or the other way. They usually feel no remorse as they use the other individual in order to obtain something in return. Financial or physical exploitation are the most common reasons behind this kind of relationship. Some people also agree to one-sided relationships because they are too weak to say “no”. 

They would much rather be trapped in a fruitless relationship and give the other a false sense of security than tell the truth about their feelings. In either way, a one-sided relationship will eventually make the “victim” realize that his/her trust has been breached.

So, how can one get over a one-sided relationship?

•  The first thing to do is to break-up at the slightest indication of being exploited. 

• Then, in order to get over your one-sided feelings, you must TRY to stop thinking about them. Keep yourself busy, do anything that keeps your mind occupied. 

• Don’t wallow in self-pity. Tell yourself you are strong and that you can come out of this. 

• And lastly, pledge that you will never give anyone the false impression of being in love with them. Don’t do onto others what you wouldn’t want them to do to you…