My Relationship, My Story (Learn)

So many people accuse me of being single, but have failed to know the reason behind It....Everyone thinks I am not the relationship type because I do not date but really I just learnt to be happy with being single and one day the right person will come....for a long time in my life, I made up my mind to stay away from relationship not because I don't want to be in one but because I have seen, heard, experienced, learnt and have been a judge to so many relationships.
In this write up, you will learn so many things you probably have known about Relationship but you would learn from my experience the in-depth of it, so get seated, relax and enjoy.

My first ever relationship would have been so sweet and an envy to so many but there is always a reason behind every action that is why I tell people because this girl or guy throws herself or himself at you does not mean there aren't  others out there waiting for him or her to give them a chance.

I was single for over 19 years of my life, and yet among my friends I was like the most experienced not because I have been into many relationships but because I have learnt from peoples experiences, and I have researched beyond peoples imagination about relationship. I normally give relationship advice and all but never experienced one, then i joined a dance group and met someone I really liked but it never worked out because there were somethings i could not endure in the relationship.

In a relationship, except two people agree, It would never last. a relationship can only work between two people who are totally present and dedicated to one another, despite any outward distraction or internal problems. you are either in it together or you are not in it at all.

At first I was soooo much into the relationship but gradually I started losing interest..............I know someone would ask me why.............yeah.......I expected that................ now I will tell you.........
For me it was Miscommunication, Lack of trust, and lies. Do not get me wrong, there so many reasons relationship do not last and that we will discuss further but now.... lets talk about mine.

After few months in our relationship, he wanted more, not just the regular, hihi, hug, come cook for me, come see me at home all of that....SEX..................... which I wasn't ready to give to him..........I know someone is already saying...... Whats the big deal?.............. yeah I get it but the truth is everyone in life has a boundary............and as a beginner..... that was a boundary for me...............yeah people would say most relationship now a days can not last without sex........... am not going to argue about that (a discussion for another day) but that is the reason why one must set boundaries before going into any relationship......those boundaries may change with time but by then..... you would know that you caused the change.

After the scenario, whenever I call to ask where he was, he would probably give a place I can not come to, may be.........''oooo, am in Abuja, no am in Lagos'' it was not like I did not trust the fact that he was in Lagos or Abuja but i felt because I did not give him what he wanted, probably he was trying to avoid me.......this happens in most relationship...........because of little things...we give up. The fact is, he might have been telling the truth but because i already had the thought, i did not believe.

Before I continue my story, let me quickly let you know other reasons why relationships do not last even when at the beginning the fire was burning.

                            Reasons why Relationships do not last

• Miscommunication- Communication Plays a vital role in a relationship you have to understand one another. when there are misunderstandings or disagreements, you both should be able to sit and have a reasonable and product driven conversation.

• Lack of Commitment- Every relationship requires true commitment, not only being monogamous but to love, to share, to overcome the monotonous feelings of staying with the same person, to change and to support one another in hard times.

• Time- Every relationship requires time, no matter how busy you are, create that time to see your love one. People are so busy with everything but should not be with relationship.

• Insecurity-The moment you become insecure about your partner, that relationship tends to crash. Insecurity is like a cancer. Sharing with each other problems and getting to the root of it matters in any relationship.

• Lack of trust- If you start losing trust in your partner, your relationship will never last. The moment you start searching each others phone, properties, the relationship begins to crash.

• The real you- When two couples start dating, they try to put their best at the beginning of the relationship but it drops once they are into the relationship and your partner begins to see the real you and probably gets irritated. it is important in every relationship to be you and let your partner love you for you. 

• Perfect Expectation- we all seek perfect partners when we ourselves are not even close to perfect. High expectations is one common reason for broken relationships.

• Early Sex- The moment you begin a relationship with sex, am sorry, it will never last......please prove me wrong if you feel its not true............most ladies feel they can hold a guy down with good sex, you probably would hold him down for a while but bet me, he would get tired of you sooner than you expect.

Note: Break in Relationships are not limited to the above but these are the major issues that causes break in relationships. others are:

• Bad Habit
• Inner Conflict
• Carrying the past
• Disrespectful Communication
• Being Judgmental
• Pride
• Living together already without formal commitment

To learn more from my relationship life, stay glued to my next post, there i will be discussing other things that has happened in the journey of relationship in my life. 

It has been fabulous sharing my experience with you and i hope you learnt one or two things from my story, do not forget to check on my next post for more of my experiences in relationship.

Thanks for creating time out of your tight schedule to read this.